Whether you’re angry over something that happened in the past or the present, being angry might make you do things that you’ll later regret. In order to prevent expressing your anger in a destructive way, it is crucial to understand the nature of your anger and learn the method on how to deal with anger with Bestechz.
Understand what triggers your anger
You might find it useful to carry a notebook or diary with you to record instances of anger so that you can start to identify what makes you furious. Consider your most recent outburst of rage and respond to the questions that follow:
- What is the situation here?
- Did someone say or do something that upset you?
- How did you feel?
- How did you behave?
- Finally, how do you feel after all?
If you keep doing this over time, you can notice that specific “patterns” start to appear. For instance, you can become irate anytime an older male coworker counsels you or directs you to take a certain action. This might be the result of unpleasant past interactions with other more senior male role models, such your father or former supervisor. Otherwise, it’s likely that you’ll become irritated whenever you encounter an uncontrollable circumstance.
Sometimes knowing what makes you upset is enough to resolve the issue, and if you discover this to be the case, you can resolve the issue on your own. However, if you have trouble identifying what is making you angry, you could think about speaking with someone who has received special training in helping people understand and recognize their emotions (also known as “Talking Treatment“).
How to deal with anger
Try soothing and calming techniques
Depending on what works for you and is practical at the time you are feeling furious, there are many different techniques to unwind and calm down. Here are a few of them:
- Breathe slowly and deeply – one of those techniques is to exhale longer than you inhale, and relax and relax as you exhale.
- Count to 10 before you react – this gives you more time to calm down, so you can think more clearly.
- Do something creative (singing, drawing, writing, building LEGOs, playing games on your phone…) – this releases your positive energies and keeps you focused on other things. .
- Listen to soothing music – it can help change your mood, slowing down your emotional and physical reactions.
- Use other, more permanent methods like yoga or meditation.
Learn to be assertive is one of ways how to deal with anger
It’s crucial to keep in mind that being overly angry and aggressive can hinder your capacity to communication and connect with others. People will concentrate on your anger rather than paying attention to what you have to say or acknowledging it.
On the other hand, if you can express your anger by talking assertively, firmly, and confidently about what makes you so angry, this will lead to better outcomes for the client, friend. Showing that you are determined and certain means that you are standing up for yourself while still respecting others and their opinions.
Talking about your anger in an assertive, positive way will:
- Make communication easier
- Prevent stressful situations from getting out of control
- Brings many benefits to your relationships and your self-esteem
- Keeps you healthy both mentally and physically
If you are used to hiding your feelings, it will take time and effort for you to get in the habit of expressing your anger in a non-negative and non-aggressive way, on the other hand still can explain why you feel uncomfortable.
Tips for expressing yourself in a positive and assertive way:
- Think clearly about what you are angry about. Ask yourself what you want to happen next. Is it enough to just explain why you are angry or do you want to change something?
- Breathe deeply – this will help you stay calm.
- Be specific. For example, say “I/I feel uncomfortable because…”. Using the “I” persona avoids blaming others, and others also feel less personally attacked.
- Listen to other people’s opinions and feedback, and try to understand their point of view.
- Treat others with respect and courtesy.
- Prepare yourself for when the conversation starts to get tense and try to notice when this will happen. If you feel you are getting angry, you can continue this conversation at another time.
Following these tips won’t mean you’ll never become angry, but it will help you express your anger more positively and you can feel better about yourself.
Pay attention to your lifestyle and eating habits
A healthy diet or regular exercise may help you feel less angry and irritable.
A balanced diet may help you feel more in control of your emotions since a deficiency in some nutrients can make you feel weak and angry.
Exercise and movement can boost your self-esteem and confidence while assisting in the release of “happy” hormones like dopamine and endorphine. It’s also a terrific method to release any tension that has been building up inside of you. Much just taking a stroll and breathing in some fresh air will help you feel more connected to your surroundings. It’s even better if you can be active or do something outdoors which give you feel more solid.
Make sure you get enough sleep so that you can think and function properly. Not getting enough sleep might make you irritated and lower your tolerance for rage.
Other available help
You should consult a professional like a psychologist/psychiatrist who can identify and treat you if your anger is linked to other mental or physical health issues.
We all experience anger, and everyone’s level and control will vary. But using these guide how to deal with anger will help you increase your EQ, manage your anger, and express your emotions in a more beneficial way for you and for others. Good luck!